Niddah

26 07, 2016

Mikveh During Aveilut

July 26th, 2016|Aveilut, Niddah|

Question:

לגרסה העברית לחצו כאן /Read this teshuva in Hebrew

I am currently sitting shiva for my mother a”h. I am also currently in niddah and my mikveh night would be tomorrow night. I know that during shiva I’m not allowed to have sex with my husband but I wanted to know if I could go to the mikveh so that we can hug and touch, at least in a non-sexual way. I could really use a hug from my husband and his reassuring touch during this time. Would we also be allowed to sleep in […]

26 07, 2016

Harchakot During Aveilut

July 26th, 2016|Aveilut, Lifecycles, Niddah, Sex|

Question:

לגרסה העברית לחצו כאן /Read this teshuva in Hebrew

I am currently sitting shiva for my mother a”h. I am also currently in niddah and my mikveh night would be tomorrow night. I know that during shiva I’m not allowed to have sex with my husband but I wanted to know if I could go to the mikveh so that we can hug and touch, at least in a non-sexual way. I could really use a hug from my husband and his reassuring touch during this time. Would we also be allowed to sleep in the same bed?

Answer:

Thank you for your question. I am sorry to hear of […]

22 07, 2015

Levels of Obligation in Shemirat Negiah

July 22nd, 2015|Marriage and Family, Niddah, Sex, Yoreh De'ah|

QUESTION

What is the origin of our current expectation of extra marital shemirat negiah (abstaining from touch)? Is this truly a halakhic obligation?

ANSWER

Thank you for the question. The first thing to note is that not all forms of touch are the same. There is casual, non-sexual touch; there is intimate, and yet non-sexual touch; and there is sexual touch. Even within sexual touch, there is touch that is very proximate to the act of intercourse, and touch that, while sexual, is more distant from the act of intercourse. Halakha in general does not lump all acts along a spectrum into the same […]

20 07, 2015

Separating on Marriage Night (Dam Betulim)

July 20th, 2015|Marriage and Family, Niddah, Sex, Yoreh De'ah|

QUESTION

If a couple has sex the night of their wedding do they need separate immediately following intercourse? It feels like a punishment for couples who actually wait, not even being able to enjoy the a full night together and then separating for at least 12 days.

ANSWER

If the woman is a virgin and her hymen is not perforated then after the first act of vaginal intercourse, she and her husband have to separate. This is the principle of דם בתולים, that the first hymeneal bleeding, in the Talmudic and Geonic period, was treated as menstrual bleeding. This practice even grew to […]

20 07, 2015

Female Masturbation During Sheva Neki’im

July 20th, 2015|Marriage and Family, Niddah, Sex, Yoreh De'ah|

QUESTION

Are there halakhic concerns about a woman masturbating during the sheva neki’im (7 clean days before she goes to the mikveh)?

ANSWER

In regards to female masturbation in general, many poskim are of the opinion that this is permitted (you can hear our Joy of Text podcast on this topic, here). Rav Moshe Feinstein (Iggrot Moshe EH 1:69) rules that it is nevertheless forbidden to be thinking of doing acts of sexual transgression, as this would fall in the category of הרהור עבירה, indulging in sinful thoughts. This may, however, only apply to cases where one is actual thinking about really doing such acts, and not […]

4 12, 2009

Two Approaches to Marital Sex

December 4th, 2009|Marriage and Family, Niddah, Sex|

The mitzvah onah, the mitzvah of marital sex, is defined in the mishna in Ketuvot as fixed, regular times that a husband must have sex with his wife. However, another definition emerges from other Talmudic passages – that the husband must have sex with his wife when he sees that she desires it, and this is referred to as lisameyach et ishto bi’dvar mitzvah, to give pleasure to his wife with this mitzvah act.

There is a debate in the achronim which of these two is the fundamental obligation. Rav Chaim Ozer Grodansky (Achiezer 3:83) rules that the fundamental obligation is […]

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